Cabin Fever
God’s word tells us, “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a real blessing” (Psalm 127:3 GNT). But during the coronavirus pandemic, a lot of parents are suddenly stuck at home vexed by cabin fever and thinking, “What are we going to do with these kids?!”
Historians tell us there has been nothing like this global health crisis since the worldwide influenza pandemic of 1918, which broke out just after World War I and killed 50 million people. Extreme measures were called for then as they are now.
But family life has changed a great deal since 1918. A century ago, about 40% of families in the US lived on farms, and 60% of the population lived in rural areas. Today just 1% of Americans live on farms.
If you lived on a family farm, your life might not be affected at all by a stay-at-home order For one thing, most of your waking hours would be spent on the farmstead with your closest kin. You‘d already be isolated from most of the world, and nobody would be out of work––on a family farm, there’s always plenty of work for everyone. Kids grow up around gardens and farm animals. Parents and older siblings care for the youngest children, and train them to help with the work. Every child is expected to take on farm chores as soon as he or she is capable. No one is superfluous because the work is unending. You need to plow the fields, sow the seeds, hoe the weeds, harvest the crops, clean the vegetables, gather the eggs, cook the meals and clean up. You repair broken machines and mend torn clothing. The cycle never ends. Children go to school after they do their farm chores. During the intensive growing season, when extra hands are needed on the farm, schools go on break.
In 2020 this kind of life is not much more than a distant memory to most Americans. But a government imposed stay-at-home order is forcing us to spend a lot of time together as families. For those accustomed to sending the kids off to school, driving off to work, working out at the gym and dropping the kids off at Sunday School to go to worship, this arrangement seems awkward and unwieldy.
In several apostolic letters of the New Testament we find what scholars refer to as “household codes.” I’m referring to (Ephesians 5:22-6:10, Colossians 3:18-4:1, 1 Peter 2:18-3:7, Titus 2:1-10). The fact that these lists of duties for husbands and wives, parents and children, household managers and laborers are repeated a number of times in the New Testament, listing household members in a similar order and with similar concerns about their various relationships, tells us that the early church considered the family to be a strategic group for showcasing the Kingdom of God. Simply put, in other words, God has placed people in families for the purpose of His mission.
Living in a family means daily taking up the cross to follow Jesus by serving one another, just as “Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her….” Ephesians 5:25. Living together, caring for one another, embodying the love of Christ toward one another is the primary community context for those living in families to be formed as mature followers of Jesus.
Now that we’ve been forced into close proximity on a daily basis with our families, how can we make the most of the opportunity presented to us? I wrote above about life on the family farm, because in many ways, it is the best context for vibrant, thriving families. Even though we can’t suddenly move back to that economic reality, we can learn from its example and come closer to bringing about its benefits. Rather than chafing under the necessity to be at home with the kids all day, we can use this opportunity to strengthen our capacities as parents. Because in fact, when parents work at home or from home, they are much better placed to do the things that God commands parents to do with their children.
Here are some of the basics of living into your mission as a family.
- Expose your family to God’s word. The scriptures encourage and direct parents to teach God’s word to their children. The scriptures tell us that the home is the place for reflection on God’s word. “Get these words inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7 MSG. Sunday School teachers and youth pastors are intended to partner with and complement what parents do, not stand in as substitutes for them. Let your children know what the word of God means to you. The conversations you have with your children about the word of God will live in their memories for life.
- Create the habit of family worship. Start and end the day with a time of family prayer. If you’re not in the habit of doing this, start with small, achievable goals. Read a psalm like Psalm 8, Psalm 23 or Psalm 100. Say the Lord’s prayer together. You can expand on this with your own freely spoken prayer requests and thanksgivings as you grow comfortable with the habit. Pray for followers of Jesus around the world, many of whom are facing difficult trials these days. The habit of morning and evening prayer helps establish a routine to order family life. Right now all of us are struggling because our routines have been upended. In prayer we invite God to order our lives and guide us throughout our days.
- Put your kids to work. You have a golden opportunity to strengthen your role as your children’s guide and instructor for the basics of life. Grocery store shelves are often empty now in part because Americans can’t eat in restaurants. We are cooking at home more. Cook meals together with your children, let them help you clean the dishes. Teach them to garden, or let them help with simple home repairs. When families share in household tasks family bonds are strengthened and the money you save on eating out can be given to support God’s mission anywhere in the world.
- Practice generosity. Right now a lot of people around us are suffering because they have lost their jobs or don’t have safe homes in which to shelter. Reach out to bless someone with a financial gift or word of encouragement and support. Deliver groceries to an elderly neighbor or friend living alone. You won’t have to look far before you find a person or a community in need.
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As a grandmother now, who usually is caring for grandchildren during the “workday week,” I have come to deeply appreciate the everyday joys with my grandchildren that remind me of life with my own children before school assignments, household chores and workplace demands became the forces that both wound the daily clock and swallowed up the time. One minute, one hour, then one day, until there were seven gone by, then an entire week, until once again the four seasons were again spent and we wondered where the year had gone. Our seemingly automated program became the driving force, and having stepped onto this treadmill, the joys of life, of living, and loving and discovering the gifts around us and in us, these were left to creep in, perhaps if the plug were accidentally dislodged, or the power went out.
Well, here we are, right now, in the waves of this epidemic, or pandemic, and “the power is
out,” our driven culture has been halted. So now what, what will I let in through this “wrinkle in time,” (thank you Madeline L’engle,) this unexpected free space on the game board of a driven life with its disappearing calendar? Will the wonder of unexpected surprises be allowed in or will fear and frustration swallow up this opportunity? At this slowed, less driven pace, with all of the worries, missing paychecks ( not at a all a small concern) will we be able to take more
time to imagine, to wonder, to share our
thoughts and questions about the life happening in and around us? We could explore the supposedly simpler God-given miracles occurring all around us and be amazed. Read great books and stories and share our thoughts, or simply share the parts of ourselves, our stories, which otherwise might have remained unacknowledged and unknown (even to ourselves) in more driven times and as we are often unaware that our stories are being written while we’re so busy watching the news.
It’s true, Donald, we live in a completely different world than our parents and grandparents. We have to figure out how to provide a wholesome life for children that will equip them for the future that we can’t predict. As Christians, we have such an unprecedented opportunity to engage with the world that needs Christ in new ways. I remember the one person I met when I was in fifth grade who was from a different country. Before that, everyone I knew was just like me! This seems like a rare experience now with the movement of people, travel, communication and exposure to the numerous cultures of the world most people can access. I just received this in my inbox and thought I could share it here in case readers of this blog are interested. This missions organization, Pioneers, has missionaries all over the world. If I had young ones at home right now, I would want to do this with them – a study of worldviews for children!
https://pioneers.org/worldviews-a-childrens-introduction-to-missions/?utm_source=MARCH+29+2020+DONOR+LIST&utm_campaign=930510ee56-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_04_07_03_14&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_7163340468-930510ee56-187265804